A definition of hatred towards your own nation

A definition of hatred towards your own nation

There are such things as xenophobia, nationalism, etc. In other words, various forms of hating and diminishing the foreign and the foreigners.

My question is, is there a term meaning hatred and disparagement towards your own people or culture? Some kind of your-own-nation-phobia?

I don't mean xenophilia, because that's affection towards foreign, it doesn't mean hatred towards your own. I mean exactly hatred towards your own people/nation/culture/etc.

EDIT1: Just one of the examples of how this phenomena may work. An international conference. A person from, say, Russia, talks to a group people from various countries. Suddenly, another Russian joins the group. Our hero realizes that (either he knew that that person was a Russian beforehand or reads that on their badge) and an anger and disgust start boiling within him. He starts to be prejudiced and a bit aggressive towards his compatriot because that person is his compatriot.

The word "Oikophobia" has several different definitions. In psychology, it usually means an aversion to home surroundings, or to objects in the home. However, the British philosopher Roger Scruton coined a new meaning, which is exactly what you are looking for:

The disposition, in any conflict, to side with 'them' against 'us', and the felt need to denigrate the customs, culture and institutions that are identifiably 'ours'.
- Roger Scruton, quoted on Urban Dictionary

Wikipedia has a more detailed description of the term:

Scruton uses the term as the antithesis of xenophobia. In his book, Roger Scruton: Philosopher on Dover Beach, Mark Dooley describes oikophobia as centered within the Western academic establishment on "both the common culture of the West, and the old educational curriculum that sought to transmit its humane values." This disposition has grown out of, for example, the writings of Jacques Derrida and of Michel Foucault's "assault on 'bourgeois' society result[ing] in an 'anti-culture' that took direct aim at holy and sacred things, condemning and repudiating them as oppressive and power-ridden."

"Derrida is a classic oikophobe in so far as he repudiates the longing for home that the Western theological, legal, and literary traditions satisfy… Derrida's deconstruction seeks to block the path to this 'core experience' of membership, preferring instead a rootless existence founded 'upon nothing.'"

An extreme aversion to the sacred and the thwarting of the connection of the sacred to the culture of the West is described as the underlying motif of oikophobia; and not the substitution of Judeo-Christianity by another coherent system of belief. The paradox of the oikophobe seems to be that any opposition directed at the theological and cultural tradition of the West is to be encouraged even if it is "significantly more parochial, exclusivist, patriarchal, and ethnocentric." Scruton described "a chronic form of oikophobia [which] has spread through the American universities, in the guise of political correctness."

Scruton's usage has been taken up by some American political commentators to refer to what they see as a rejection of traditional American culture by the liberal elite. In August 2010 James Taranto wrote a column in the Wall Street Journal entitled Oikophobia, Why the liberal elite finds Americans revolting in which he criticized supporters of the proposed Islamic center in New York as oikophobes who were defending Muslims who aimed to "exploit the 9/11 atrocity".
- Wikipedia

There is some research in social psychology that has investigated when people dislike a group they belong to. Thus, this research is more general in that it is not limited to nationality, but about any kind of social group.

Usually, people have a tendency for ingroup bias, that is, they prefer their own group over other groups (outgroups). One important theoretical perspective that has guided much research on this phenomenon is Social Identity Theory, which posits that people derive their self-concept from the groups they belong to, and strive for positive distinctiveness from other groups.

Sometimes, however, people have a strong dislike for their own group, e.g., because these groups are stigmatized, because a larger ingroup discriminates a smaller subgroup they belong to, because an ingroup violates important personal moral standards, or when people move to high status positions in disadvantaged groups (for a review, see Becker & Tausch, 2014). This phenomenon has been labeled with different terms such as "ingroup hate", "outgroup favoritism", or "disidentification".

To my knowledge, the most comprehensive account of explicit dislike of ingroups has been proposed by Becker and Tausch (2014), who have developed a scale to capture this phenomenon. They distinguish between different components of disidentification and show that their scale can predict negative emotional and behavioral reactions toward the ingroup. Citing from their abstract:

This research introduces a multi-component model of ingroup disidentification that distinguishes three disidentification components (detachment, dissatisfaction, and dissimilarity). In Studies 1a (N = 168) and 1b (N = 215), the authors developed a measurement scale that assesses these components, and examined alternative factorial structures. Study 2 (N = 115) provides evidence that the disidentification scale performs better at distinguishing between disidentification and nonidentification than an established identification scale. Using additional data from Studies 1b and 2, Studies 3a and 3b examined emotions and behavioral intentions as correlates of disidentification and revealed that the disidentification components predict negative ingroup-directed behavioral intentions (active harm, passive harm, and passive facilitation) and identity concealment over and above measures of identification.


Becker, J. C., & Tausch, N. (2014). When group memberships are negative: The concept, measurement, and behavioral implications of psychological disidentification. Self and Identity, 13(3), 294-321.

I like the word misanthropy…

Misanthropy is the general hatred, distrust or disdain of the human species or human nature. A misanthrope or misanthropist is someone who holds such views or feelings. The word's origin is from the Greek words μῖσος (misos, "hatred") and ἄνθρωπος (anthrōpos, "man, human"). The condition is often confused with asociality.

Mechanics of Sarcasm

Sarcasm is very simply put when someone says something that everyone knows is untrue in order to draw attention to its ridiculousness. When it is used aggressively then, this will often mean taking what you have said out of context and exaggerating it to the point where it appears a stupid or inane. This can then sometimes provide humor by pointing out how absurd the situation or comment would be – but at the same time it is often essentially a mockery of your original comment which is why it can be so hurtful and destructive. In other situations the same effect can be achieved through ironic comments – again often critical or damaging. For instance a comment such as ‘remember to eat – don’t starve yourself!’ delivered to someone overweight would also be a form of sarcasm. Often it can be hard to distinguish between a sarcastic and an earnest comment and this can make it hard to call someone on their use of sarcasm. Usually the main indicator of sarcasm is a vocal inflection and this means it tends not to work in the written form.

Inability to forgive

We all know that forgiving isn’t the easiest thing to do. However, we must keep in mind that it’s an important thing to do if we want to get closure and move on with our lives. Resentful people don’t want to forgive anyone. All they do is feed their pain by replaying the triggering event over and over.

By doing this, their feelings of despair and anguish intensify. In fact, the University of Pisa carried out a study that was published in the Frontiers in Human Neuroscience magazine that revealed that, while feeding resentment deepens the emotional wound, forgiving regulates a great number of neuronal structures, reduces stress, and activates areas in the prefrontal cortex related to problem-solving.

3. Disliking Someone

When we are young, we tend to get along with everyone, and this desire remains a part of us as we grow older.

With this in mind, it should come as no surprise to learn that when we find ourselves disliking someone, we seek to project this feeling onto them so that we may justify our own less than friendly behavior.

To put it another way, if you dislike Joe, but are not willing to consciously admit to this, you might convince yourself that it is Joe who doesn’t like you.

This protects you against feeling bad for disliking someone, no matter what your reasons are.

Because let’s face it, if you had to really say why you disliked Joe (perhaps he is charming and you are not, or maybe he has a successful career and you’re unfulfilled in yours), you’d come face to face with qualities that you don’t want to admit exist in you.

This is a very real thing, so deserves a good answer.

self-loathing suits.

The Wikipedia article uses self-hating in its article on self-hating jews

It should be noted the the term self-hating jew is considered pejorative, presumably because there are political or ideological implications of whether the persons loathing is genuine or reasonable.

Arthur Trebitchsh was a self-hating jew who produced anti-semetic propaganda for the Nazis.

Is Rachel Dolezal really a self-loathing white person, or is someone's ethnic identity fluid?

Ultimately the term should be used carefully, because it comes with some kind of judgement as to the person's motivations.

It sounds like a clumsy word to me, but the term self-hating (also self-loathing) is sometimes applied to Jews who hate their race. The term is very politicized, though I think it's typically applied to people who blow the whistle on corruption. They did the right thing, but they're ostracized because they didn't keep their mouth shut, so they're called self-hating Jews.

I haven't done any research to learn if the same term is applied to other races.

A contextual rendering of misanthropic or its variant might fit.


OED: "Having or showing a dislike of other people unsociable"

MWD: "of, relating to, or characteristic of a misanthrope: marked by a hatred or contempt for humankind

As you can see this term is generally directed towards humanity or people as a whole, however the etymology suggests it could lend itself to other renderings. Misanthropic comes from the Greek morpheme μισεω (miseo) meaning hate and ανθροπος (anthropos), meaning people, person, or man. You could see how the hatred of one's own people might fit this word.

A person who holds a belief that any particular race is inferior is a racist, irrespective of whether they themselves are a member of said race.

If you're willing to invoke a literary allusion, you could call such a person a Gulliver, referring to the revulsion that Lemuel Gulliver feels for his own kind (Yahoos) in the "A Voyage to the Country of the Houyhnhnms" section of Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World:

I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of Yahoos but now I found it in vain to do so any longer.


I expressed my uneasiness at his [Gulliver's Houyhnhnm master's] giving me so often the Appellation of Yahoo, an odious animal, for which I had so utter a hatred and contempt: I begged he would forebear applying that word to me, and make the same order in his family and among his friends whom he suffered to see me.


When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the human race in general, I considered them, as they really were, Yahoos is shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified with the gift of speech but making no other use of reason, than to improve and multiply those vices whereof their brethren in this country [Houyhnhnmland] had only the share that nature allotted them.

Later, in a retrospective note ("written in the year 1727") from Gulliver to his cousin after the initial publication of his Travels, Gulliver describes his feelings about typical Yahoos as follows:

If the censure of the Yahoos could any way affect me, I should have great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone so far as to drop hints, that the Houyhnhnms and Yahoos have no more existence than the inhabitants of Utopia.


Do these miserable animals [English Yahoos] presume to think, that I am so degenerated as to defend my veracity? Yahoo as I am, it is well known through all Houyhnhnmland, that, by the instructions and example of my illustrious master [a horse], I was able in the compass of two years (although I confess with the utmost difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of lying, shuffling, deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very souls of all my species especially the Europeans.

Gulliver doesn't have a particularly high opinion of himself (he especially dislikes seeing reflections of himself in a mirror, window, or pool of water), but his chief disgust is reserved for the race—the human race—of which he is a member.

Is It Useful to Hate My Family?

We need to examine two concepts:

  • The concept of hatred itself.
  • The fact that you probably hate your family because they have hurt you (or they are hurting you).

Let’s start with the latter.

“My family have hurt me. They are the reason I am fucked up emotionally and psychologically right now. And they don’t intend to stop.”

Some families are too dysfunctional. Some are mildly dysfunctional. And some are less dysfunctional than the rest. But there are no perfect families and we all get hurt somehow.

So, the hurt is real. The damage is done. And when you look back, it wasn’t all your fault.

Our families sometimes perpetuate our insecurities by treating us as if we are not enough.

Insecurities and unhappiness, sooner or later, will go out of control (we will know why below). It starts with questions like, “why am I so fucked up?” And to find the answer, they go and examine how they got hurt. And it’s just a matter of time before they reach the conclusion that their families have fucked them up and that they hate them for it.

But wait! There is a missing piece here. Why the thinking process has to be this way?

Simply put, because of the second concept, which is hatred.

Getting Anger & Hostility Under Control

In the world of stress research, anger and hostility are the most widely studied behavioral characteristics. Studies indicate that anger is the behavioral factor most highly correlated with an increased risk of coronary heart stroke, myocardial infarction and, possibly, high blood pressure. Other physical and behavioral stress problems are known to be directly influenced by stress. For example, gastrointestinal or stomach problems have a high correlation with anger.

A high level of anger is a strong behavioral predictor of early illness and even death. This scale measures such things as irritability, anger, and impatience and is one of the classic Type-A behaviors. If you scored medium to high on this scale, then practice more constructive and appropriate ways of dealing with anger and the internal and external situations that generate this emotion in you.

Anger is an emotion that nearly everyone feels from time to time in their lives. It is not wrong or bad to feel anger, but it is a negative emotion — meaning that it tends to bring a person’s mood down.

Hostility or aggression is a behavior, often the direct result of anger that goes unchecked. Most people believe that they have little to no control over their hostility or aggression, and even less control over anger. But like all emotions and all behaviors, a person can learn to better control their anger and aggression through training and practice.

A lot of anger can be inappropriate and counterproductive. Determine for yourself if your anger is excessive and if it is beginning to or already has affected you and your relationships. You know better than anyone if your anger is harmful.

In addition to the physical affects of anger, anger has consequences in your social life as well. Some examples of destructive anger include verbal abuse of a child, spouse, or other person when they do not meet expectations. Physically hitting or abusing a person is an unfortunate common occurrence in homes across the world. This form of anger is almost always wrong, as are the frequent explosive outbursts of rage and anger toward others for minor infractions. Excessive verbal or physical anger is a problem for many.

Why anger? Anger is typically an attempt to control the actions or behaviors of others to get our needs and wants met by others. Anger is the result of frustration when you do not get what you need, want, or expect from life or others. Anger is essentially a control tactic.

Underlying anger is fear. The most common fear is not feeling in control of a person or event. Anger is an attempt to control one’s own world by attempting to control the actions of others. To reduce fear or anxiety and to get the person to behave “properly,” anger is employed. After all, once the person is under your control, you feel better.

Anger can be expressed either directly through “lashing out” or indirectly through “passive-aggressive” behavior. With passive-aggressive behavior, individuals punish others by being belligerent, not responding, pouting, or simply running away. Active anger is obvious: you simply lose control and “explode” onto someone with a verbal or physical attack.

Continued expressions of anger can damage your health as well as your relationships. Angry words and acts can never be taken back. The harm done is not really healed. The effects may linger for years and frequently come back to haunt you.

1. Recognize the fear driving your anger

Since fear is the engine that drives you to do such things such as hit, yell, or scream at someone, ask yourself, “What am I fearing right now?” Do you fear the person will not do or say what you want? Do you feel anxious when you’re not in control? Recognize that your need to control may be unrealistic and actually counter-productive. If anxiety about a situation is great, you may have difficulty attending to this source and you will probably need to work very hard on this anxiety. Once you do, you will be able to master your fear and anger more effectively.

2. Flow with fear

Once you have identified the fear behind your anger, allow yourself to feel it. Doing so will allow the fear to flow through and out of you. Much energy is wasted trying to push away from our fears. Unfortunately, this keeps us smack in the middle of them. Once we experience and identify our fears, we can move on to reduce stress. We can accept that the feared condition has occurred, and then take positive steps to change or make the best of a perceived “feared” outcome.

3. Improve your self-esteem

Everyone experiences anger at times. It’s normal. However, a positive and healthy self-esteem is vital to resisting the use of anger. Self-esteem improves when you look to the good within you and not to the bad, flawed or inadequate.

4. Practice “letting go”

“Letting go” is the key to freeing yourself from excessive anger. Our culture focuses on maintaining control rather than teaching us the art of “letting go.” By “letting go,” you will actually gain control over yourself! When you become aware of excessive anger within you, you can begin to talk to yourself in a different way. For example, you might say to yourself:

“I can let go and it’s okay. Letting go does not mean I’m out of control.”

“I can let go and still feel in control. Letting go makes me feel better, and that will make the situation better.”

“I don’t need anger to change this person or situation. Anger is not controlling me, I am the master of my anger.”

“I am not an angry person. Anger is destructive. I will raise myself above this anger and let go!”

5. Be prepared

Being prepared means to think about your behavior and thoughts. Write down or make a mental note when you frequently feel excessive anger or express it either outwardly toward others or inwardly toward yourself. Become aware of the circumstances that trigger your reaction and mentally prepare yourself for future occurrences the next time. Prepare by rehearsing how you will respond when your anger begins to show itself. Then, when the situation arises, you will be better able to make a positive change in yourself. You may not always succeed, but you will make progress, especially when you have small successes.

6. Use “i-messages”

“I-Messages” are powerful ways to communicate with others when angry, upset or hurt. I-Messages can defuse a potentially explosive situation and are a good alternative to verbally abusing another person. Typically, I-Messages take the form of telling the person how you feel because of what they did or did not do. I-Messages focus on behavior, not the person as a human being. For example, a common anger expression might be: “You idiot! Where have you been all night! You’re such a stupid, no-good kid! I hate you. Get out of my sight.”

For example, an I-Message can take the form of: “When you don’t call me or let me know when you’re coming home, I feel hurt and unimportant in your life. It is important for you to call me. I know you want to be independent, but let’s discuss boundaries and limits. I don’t hate you. I am upset with your behavior. Unfortunately for you, there are limits and we need to talk about consequences.” I-Messages should express how you are affected by another’s behavior.

7. Avoid should’s

Mentally setting overly tight boundaries for yourself and others, constantly saying that people should be something other than what they are generates frustration and anger. People are what they are change is possible, but acceptance is key to stressmastery. Engaging in these “shouldisms” is often self-destructive and usually harmful to your relationships with others.

Some examples of “should’s” to avoid are:

“She/he should be more loving.”

“When I walk into a room, people should immediately say hello to me.”

“When I assigned her the job, she should have completed it right away.”

“He should love his parents more. He should visit them more often.”

“They should show me more respect. After all, I’m their superior. I deserve it.”

8. Set realistic goals

When you do not reach your goals, you can become frustrated and angry. Set realistic goals, both in reducing excessive anger and in all other areas of your life. Then act on them promises and hopes rarely change human behavior. Finally, tell yourself that you are making progress. Reassure yourself, even when you are making only occasional or small strides. Small strides are the only way many goals are reached.

What to Do About It

The first step in dealing with verbal abuse is to recognize the abuse. If you were able to identify any type of verbal abuse in your relationship, it's important to acknowledge that first and foremost.

By being honest about what you are experiencing, you can begin to take steps to gain back control. While you need to consider your individual situation and circumstances, these tips can help if you find yourself in a verbally abusive relationship.

Set Boundaries

Firmly tell the verbally abusive person that they may no longer criticize, judge or shame you, name-call, threaten you, and so on. Then, tell them what will happen if they continue this abusive behavior.

For instance, tell them that if they scream or swear at you, the conversation will be over and you will leave the room. The key is to follow through don't set boundaries you have no intention of keeping.

Limit Exposures

If possible, take time away from the verbally abusive person and spend time with people who love and support you. Limiting exposure with the person can give you space to reevaluate your relationship. Surrounding yourself with a network of friends and family will help you feel less lonely and isolated and remind you of what a healthy relationship should look like.

End the Relationship

If there are no signs that the verbal abuse will end, or that the person has any intention of working on their behavior, you will likely need to take steps to end the relationship. Before doing so, share your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. You may also want to come up with a safety plan in case the abuse escalates when you break things off.

Seek Help

Healing from a verbally abusive relationship may not be something you can do on your own. Reach out to trusted loved ones for support, and consider talking to a therapist who can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping skills for dealing with the short- and long-term consequences of verbal abuse.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

Definition of 'Emotional Intelligence'

Definition: Emotional intelligence refers to the capability of a person to manage and control his or her emotions and possess the ability to control the emotions of others as well. In other words, they can influence the emotions of other people also.

Description: Emotional intelligence is a very important skill in leadership. It is said to have five main elements such as - self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Let’s understand each one of them in detail. What is self-awareness? If you are self-aware of what you are going through, you would be in a better position to understand others, and affect people around you. It also means you are aware of your strengths as well as weaknesses. When you experience anger, hold that moment and think what made you so angry. Keeping a journal always helps.

What is self-regulation? Self-regulation is the next step wherein you think before speaking. It is an important aspect where you can regulate yourself. This will impact others in a positive way rather than in negatively. Hold yourself accountable in case you make a mistake, and try to remain calm in every situation.

What is motivation? When you are motivated to do a series of tasks you will be in a better position to influence others. Work towards your goals consistently. Show your employees how the work is done and lead by example. Even if you are faced with a challenge try and find something good about the situation.

What is empathy? When you are able to put yourself in other’s shoe and think about a situation, it is known as empathy. Every successful leads should know how to empathise with others, if you want to earn their respect.

What are social skills? The last aspect is social skills and it is one of the important aspects. Social skills are all about communicating your point of view to. They are able to build a rapport with others which makes the relationship more comfortable.

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What Is Reaction Formation? Definition, Psychology, Theory, And Applications

We like to think that we are fairly reasonable creatures. We want things, and we go towards them, we think something, we say it (if it's appropriate). Of course, as we all know, this gets way more complicated in practice than in theory, but many people still think that we are all rational and intentional beings. We rely on this assumption when we watch others make choices as well. We assume there is a connection between the thoughts people have and the actions they take and that the connection is clear, at least to the person making it.

But we also know that people can be dishonest. We hide things from each other, and even more complicated, we hide things from ourselves. We all have ideas and thoughts that we don't share, whether because of embarrassment, fear, confusion, or something else. We can try to push those thoughts down in our minds and even stop thinking about them. Sometimes we can control ourselves to resist the random or even unpleasant notions that occur to us.

But sometimes, those notions lead to actions we don't intend and may not be entirely able to control. Sometimes we end up acting in the complete opposite direction of what we want. Repeatedly.

Reaction formation is an example of how our minds and bodies can get away from us. It can be hard to identify, but understanding this aspect of human psychology can be enormously beneficial to understanding how messy life can get for all of us. This article will discuss what reaction formation is, where it comes from, the ideas that led to its creation, and how it can be applied to improve our lives.