The fear of aging

The fear of aging

"The human being was born to experience all ages, with their own and special experiences. From birth until we get older, we can choose to live with joy or be miserable."

When the first symptoms of aging begin

It all starts a day like any other one in which you go down the street and suddenly a teenager asks you what time it is to address you as a "lady". From that moment on your life suffers a identity crisis because you had not assumed that you were getting older and precisely it has had to be a teenager with a simple question who has opened your eyes to the reality that frightens us so much: maturity.

Aging symptoms seem to develop loudly as if our first stage of life had been filmed in slow motion and now they were in a hurry to finish. But women have an advantage over our mothers and grandmothers and this is that our generation has grown with opportunities as if it were the time of sales. Every day we have more opportunities in the workplace with excellent expectations similar to those that men might have. It seems at last that we have broken with the conventions and extreme machismo. The plastic and cosmetic surgery makes us maturity much more receptive and the main thing, we have a decision about our life.

How many times your mothers will have told you: Your generation is different, women already have control over their own lives!

And it is true, we decide if we want to operate our breasts or take off the ugly holsters in order to mature more attractively; We decided to study because we want to cultivate intellectually and when we reach what we consider the beginning of maturity, we want to savor every small space of our life with vitality, so we are not afraid of menopause or grow old, because that path we hope to live with fullness choosing as unique possible alternative health.

Some of the thoughts of mature women

  • I used to think that meeting 40 years was already being mature and consequently grow old, now that I have them, I am not so sure of that.
  • The arrival of menopause was for me as a second birth. I started enjoying sexual intercourse for the first time because I no longer had to worry about a possible pregnancy.
  • Now I realize that life is lived too quickly without time to learn everything it teaches us. Now with the beginning of this new stage in my life, every second, every moment I live I taste it as if it were the last.

Unfortunately not all women reach this stage with a clarity of ideas as the examples seen above; others, on the contrary, live maturity with fear and instead of experimenting and tasting, they hide under the shell, lamenting how quickly everything has happened. They adjust to age and let the cells that form their body crack and oxidize because they have simply turned forty. The crises follow each other: our older children come to overwhelm us with their problems, then they leave us, our partners will probably find other more desirable and beautiful women and they will also abandon us and we, where will we go "old" and consequently , unattractive if we have used it all our lives to satisfy our environment? This type of negative thoughts blocks a correct vision of our possibilities and the lack of confidence in ourselves due to a lack of self-esteem clouds our own individuality.

We usually succumb to anxiety and depression because they are labels that are part of our generation. Let's think about the amount of stress that is generated due to changes in the self-image: gray hair appears, wrinkles around the eyes, our arms hang and the neck is no longer attractive. But let's think about what many women, and probably ourselves, have gained by turning forty: experience, elegance, attractiveness, intellectuality and sensuality. 5 qualities that I think we should take into account when the only thing that worries us is the fateful figure to start a depression.

Around the fifties, many women will feel full of energy to focus on the many benefits that the decades ahead of them have to offer. Thus many will begin to fully realize themselves as women in any field in that period. The fifties have something symbolic because they somehow mark half of our existence since most people do not expect to live more than a century, so the fifties are the turning point. We begin to think a lot about the past, reflecting on the meaning that our life has already had. It is a period of meditation, of reunion with our interior; If in midlife we ​​suffer from crises now it is time to relive them again as if it were difficult adolescence. To this we add that our known environment also matures and death is closer having to overcome on certain occasions periods of grief not before experienced that cause us pain and restlessness. If we are also widowed, we will have to face the long journey alone and that is something that many of us fear because we did not know how to practice our own individuality in time. The ten types of loneliness that relate to this stage according to Lopata are:

1. Missing a specific person
2. Missing the fact of being loved
3. Missing the possibility of loving another
4. Missing a deep relationship
5. Missing someone at home
6. Missing sharing tasks
7. Missing the way of life of married people
8. Missing the satisfaction of being accompanied
9. Having to intensify other relationships
10. Problems making new friends

If you have reached the end of your marriage or relationship, you are alone and you are over forty years old and it is difficult for you to adapt to the fact of aging, I propose some measures to make the experience you have to live more positive:

  • Do not judge your needs. That will not be a symptom of weakness or lack of self-sufficiency. If you need to be accompanied, feel loved, do not hesitate to communicate, to interact with people your age and express that need as many times as you require. Obviously we do not need others as food to survive, but you must allow yourself to decide that you like being able to share with other people.
  • Don't repress the feelings of sadness that can invade you from time to time because if you get used to it you will repress those of joy so positive for your mind.
  • Accept being who you are. Love your life and let it flow freely without putting brakes on it. No matter how old you are or how society pigeonholes you. Do not be prejudiced and you will be happier.